Bad Dream

I felt my shirt clinging to my damp chest as my eyelids fluttered open. My heart was racing, and I could feel the blood pumping all the way down through my toes. I was careful not to wake Pony as I crawled out of bed and made my way to the living room couch. Today marked two years since the accident, since mom and dad died, since I dropped out and started working full time, since Darry was claimed as my legal guardian.
I began flipping through the family albums, studying pictures from birthday parties, Christmases, family vacations. Life was simpler back then, back when someone told you what time to be home by, told you you couldn't go out with friends, most kids my age would disagree with me, they long for freedom from their parents, but to be under the influence of my parents again was all I wanted. They told me what I could do and when to do it, now all my decisions were reflected only upon myself, and I wasn't yet ready to be the supreme authority of my own being. People my age shouldn't have to make the decisions I've made, I was forced to learn too early how to take care of myself, when in reality, I still wanted someone to take care of me.
"Bad dream?" I looked up to see Pony emerging from the hallway.
"Always." I said.
I had the same dream this time every year. The accident replays over and over in my head, eventually stealing me from sleep. Pony plopped down on the couch beside me, laying his head in my lap.
"How do you think it'd be.....ya know, of they were still here?" he asked.
"I dunno," contemplating his thought, that I secretly thought so often. "just like it was before I guess."
"You mean without Darry being an ass?" he replied.
We laughed a bit, "He's not an ass Pony.....he's just got more worries than he used to."
Pony sat up, "yeah yeah, that's what you always say."
"Think about it like this, would you be ready to be a dad to your three younger siblings at nineteen years old?" I asked.
Pony thought a minute, staring at the floor. "I guess not......especially not to you." he playfully shoved me.
"Pssht, I'm the easy one kid." I said.  
"Well I'm going back to bed." Pony said, "You commin?"
"Yeah." And then I closed the album and tucked it neatly back in it's place.